Orphan
August 03, 2009 09:08 PM
Director: Juame Collett-Sera
Full Cast/Crew/Production Info
First off…..let’s face it. I don’t get a lot of time off from teaching you guys how to kick butt. But, when I do…why in the world would I choose to go see a movie with such a creepy marketing campaign? Have you guys seen those billboards and posters? “There’s something wrong with Esther.” Well, with those ponytails, a Well-Beyond-Goth-Waxy/Wane complexion and that lovely accessory around her neck, matched in style and tact only by her doll like black eyes…it’s a fair bet that, yep, there’s something OBVIOUSLY wrong with Esther. So….I went to see exactly what was wrong with Esther. Oh dear….this little gal has some serious issues. And so does the movie…
Wacky little girl gets adopted by well-meaning, cool couple. They already have 2 lovely kids both around the same age as disturbing young Esther. The minute Esther hits the scene things start going…uh….badly. As usual, the kids are the first to notice. As usual, it takes the parents a significantly longer time to get hep to the fact that their newly adopted daughter just might be a sociopathic killer with Daddy issues.
When the Mother (Vera Farmiga, an actress who hasn’t seen a frail, emotionally unstable character she hasn‘t wanted to play) starts to get suspicious about the background of young Esther she asks the Nun who was running the Orphange (CCH Pounder.) Seems Sister-Mary-Her-Days-Are-Numbered knows a little more about Esther than she originally let on. Esther doesn’t want the proverbial cat to be let out of the proverbial bag and…well….let’s just say Esther gets busy. And remains “busy” through out the rest of the feature. Frolicking about causing as much pain and mayhem as possible. Although, guilty admission here, the editing was pretty tight and there were one or two times that I stopped eating my popcorn and scooted to the edge of my seat. There should have been a lot more of those moments, though.
Yes. There is a hook at the end. And I won’t spoil it for you. I guess, if you choose to rent this flick (and I do mean Rent. It ain’t worth a 10 spot, kids) there should be at least one thing that might surprise you in this otherwise, un-involving, predictable flick.
4.5 squats. Do ‘em, watch it, and then do 3 sets of runners and some torso twists. You’ll feel much better.
Definition of “Orphan”
Clip from “Orphans of The Storm”
Backlash against presentation of Orphans in Orphan
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When the Mother (Vera Farmiga, an actress who hasn’t seen a frail, emotionally unstable character she hasn‘t wanted to play) starts to get suspicious about the background of young Esther she asks the Nun who was running the Orphange (CCH Pounder.) Seems Sister-Mary-Her-Days-Are-Numbered knows a little more about Esther than she originally let on. Esther doesn’t want the proverbial cat to be let out of the proverbial bag and…well….let’s just say Esther gets busy. And remains “busy” through out the rest of the feature. Frolicking about causing as much pain and mayhem as possible. Although, guilty admission here, the editing was pretty tight and there were one or two times that I stopped eating my popcorn and scooted to the edge of my seat. There should have been a lot more of those moments, though.
Yes. There is a hook at the end. And I won’t spoil it for you. I guess, if you choose to rent this flick (and I do mean Rent. It ain’t worth a 10 spot, kids) there should be at least one thing that might surprise you in this otherwise, un-involving, predictable flick.
4.5 squats. Do ‘em, watch it, and then do 3 sets of runners and some torso twists. You’ll feel much better.
Definition of “Orphan”
Clip from “Orphans of The Storm”
Backlash against presentation of Orphans in Orphan
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